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The arrow of Progress hurtles ever onward, gathering speed as it
streaks toward our gleaming, George Jetsonesque future. Which is good, but I'm just wondering: where the heck is my flying car?
Mankind's progress over the past century has been
startling. A hundred years ago horses were the main source of
horsepower on the farm. Equines have since been supplanted by
infinitely incomprehensible, computer-controlled, GPS-guided behemoths that have more snort in their starter motors than an average horse.
There are still plenty of horses out in the country, but
they're mostly kept for pleasure and companionship. I just hope that
we husbands will someday be deemed worthy of similar treatment.
Even my half-century of living has seen some huge leaps.
For instance, my potty training took place in an outdoor
privy. This was pretty much normal at that time and was not as bad as
one might think.
There was no waiting for the privy in the wintertime. When
it was deeply cold outside, you learned to hold off until you really,
really had to go.
Another upside was the total lack of bathroom envy. We
might be a wee bit jealous of someone who had seats in their privy
instead of crudely cut holes, and we might say "My, how fancy!" to
discover that a neighbor's privy was equipped with a Sears catalogue
instead of a basket of corn cobs.
But that was it. There was none of this "The Olsons' bathroom has a
shower the size of a car wash! And their toilet has so much power they
had to put a warning sign on it regarding small children! Why can't we
have a bathroom like that?"
The simple act of obtaining water used to take planning and
patience. A rock-walled cistern below the house held our water supply
and a hand pump was our delivery system.
The planning part was due to the fact that the pump often needed
priming. This meant thinking ahead to save water for priming, which is
somewhat akin to coming up with a name for your child before he's born
instead of scrambling for a suitable moniker from the phone book. Not
that I would know anything about that.
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