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Agriculture.com Staff 02/06/2016 @ 11:55pm

My wife looked my direction the other day and asked me if I was going to town. I wondered how she could ask me that question, wasn't it obvious? There was no way I was going to town. I didn't have my going-to-town cap on my head.

You would think that after all these years she would know that. We guys are about as transparent in our actions as the family dog. We do certain things certain ways. We have a routine and a certain way of doing things and we do not like to alter any of that.

My cap that is designated as the not going to town cap looks like something you would not wear to town. It is that obvious. It has sweat stains around the sides, dust and dirt all over it, and after a few (very few) washings looks tattered and is one step away from where retired caps go when their work is done. That place would be the closet where it gradually works its way to the back until it finally disappears from sight.

If I were going to town, I would be wearing my going to town cap. But it is not quite that simple. I have two caps for going to town depending on the destination in town I am headed to. If I am going to the elevator or farm supply store, the going to town cap for that trip is a better cap with just a small oil slick from my skin oil around the edges extending to the bill. It still has that worked in look without looking like something picked up off the street.

The other going to town cap hangs in a place of honor in the living room closet where the good caps, jackets, and coats reside. These are the ones that have advertising done in small and colorful ways to resemble designer labels. I am very proud of them.

If I receive a white cap from a supplier, it will end up in that closet to be brought out on really important occasions like going to church or seeing the relatives. Other important caps and jackets are kept there when the greens are the right shade to compliment each other.

Of course, no farmer would be uncouth enough to wear a cap from one seed company and a jacket from a different seed company. Who says we have no taste?

Perhaps, to take this to the next step we could have a place where the designated caps hang and each has an assigned and identified hook that it can hang from. There would be the not going to town cap hook, going to town but not on important business hook, and the not only going to town but it is something really special hook. When all the caps are hanging in place, I am in the house. When a cap is missing, the empty hook not only tells where I am going, but how important the trip is.

Another advantage is the caps with the sweat stains or dirt are supposed to be that way. That means no laundering is allowed. Cleaning throws the whole system out of balance.

There you go. Isn't that simple? There is no reason to ask if I am going to town. Just check the top of my head. If I am not around, check to see which cap is missing. It is as transparent as the actions of the family dog.

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