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First aid kit

Agriculture.com Staff 06/30/2009 @ 12:32pm

I think we need some rules to make life a little more livable. Nothing big -- just a few tweaks.

For instance, who's the idiot that decided first aid kits should be white?

First of all, there's lots of white stuff in a kitchen. If you're in a hurry (and if you're looking for the first aid kit, hurry is kind of a given), it can be easy to overlook a first aid kit lurking among the sugar and flour.

Second, if someone, hypothetically speaking, should happen to suffer a mishap with a cordless drill and need a band aid in a hurry, there's just something wrong about leaving bloody fingerprints on a pristine white box. There are a couple of reasons for that -- it's not an attractive look, red smears all over a white box, but there’s the evidence factor, too.

It's usually possible to get the blood trail wiped off the floor before anyone comes home and asks what happened, but the white first aid kit plainly shows the marks, and those marks are fingerprints. You really lose any plausible deniability. If your wife comes home and she can see nothing wrong except a band aid on your finger, all is good, but if there's a blood trail leading to the kitchen and red fingerprints all over the first aid kit, questions will be asked.

So, from now on, let's just make first aid kits blood red and it’s a win/win for everyone involved.

People don’t know how to use colors in general. I was thinking about this a couple weeks ago as I was standing at a sink in a church kitchen washing dishes. Hundreds of plates and cups were coming at me and all of them were perfectly white. Do you have any idea how much bother it is to get all the food off a white dish? One little speck and you can see it from 20 feet away. What not mottled brown plates instead of white -- maybe just a muddy camouflage color?

Not every church would need to use the same color or pattern; just get the predominant jello and hot dish combinations for your congregation. Do you realize how much dish-washing time could be saved if people weren't so nuts about getting all the old food off? Get the right color and texture of dishes and that wouldn't be a problem anymore. And there’s more. This is a conservation issue -- if the plates didn’t need to be completely clean, you’d be using way less water.

This final suggestion is more of an etiquette issue. I believe any scars that you have to remove clothing to exhibit would be best left covered. Seems like a simple rule -- if you're missing a finger, go ahead and make up a terrific story about the loss. If you're missing a toe, keep it to yourself unless you're going barefoot. And, if your body can do unusual things due to an illness or accident, please, I don't need to know that. If a missing ligament means you can spin your toe like a top, please, please, don't show me.

I have other thoughts about what could make life easier and more pleasant, but that's probably enough for this week.

Copyright 2009 Brent Olson

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