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Hurt

Agriculture.com Staff 09/08/2009 @ 9:02am

My legs hurt.

Actually, all the muscles I have (and that's not nearly as many as I used to have) from my ribcage on down are sore.

It's a good thing, actually. Earlier this year I had a sore knee. I gimped around for a few months and finally went to the doctor.

She took a look and explained that there was a ligament issue. Apparently, healthy knees aren't supposed to wobble from side to side. I was picturing an operation, a few days in the hospital, some interesting new scars to talk about, followed by six months of rehab. Instead, she sent me down the hall to the physical therapy department where a young woman who looked about twelve but had somehow managed to get her Ph.D. in gimpy- knees-on-grumpy-men watched me wobble across the room and said "I think we can fix that."

She gave me some exercises and the next morning I hurt in places where I didn't even know I had places. I put up with it for a week, went back, and she gave me another set of exercises that made whole new places hurt. I gritted my teeth and followed her orders and somewhere in the middle of it all my knee stopped wobbling and hurting. It seemed like a miracle.

But then we went on vacation and I stopped exercising, except for using my right arm to pull licorice out of the bag that sat on the shift console.

And I know some people who wouldn't consider that exercise.

I had my reasons for the lack of exercise. It's a little hard to stick to a schedule when you're on the road. Plus, the exercises I do can't be done in a tent and aren't the sort of thing a campground full of strangers really wants, or needs, to witness. You know how yoga moves have strange names? Well, one of my exercises is called, "the peeing dog."

It's just not something you do in a campground full of strangers, particularly in Canada. It might even be against the law.

I skipped my exercises the first few days we were home. In my defense, I was really busy. I had to unpack, which took at least 5 minutes. I had to throw away twenty pounds of mail and delete four hundred e-mails. I'm telling you, my schedule was jam packed.

But eventually I couldn't put it off anymore, so two days ago around daybreak I unrolled my little foam mat and did my exercises, including the really strange ones with the giant rubber band. Everything went pretty well and I was pleased that I was still in good shape.

And then the next morning I got out of bed. Getting vertical wasn't much of a problem. Our bed is pretty high off the ground, so once I got my legs over the side gravity did most of the work, but then I had to start walking and that was an issue. The system I finally worked out was to fling each leg forward from the hip, with pauses for whining and moaning.

It wasn't fast, but it worked well enough to get me downstairs for breakfast. Some days, that's really all I need.

Copyright 2009 Brent Olson

My legs hurt.

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