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Party

Agriculture.com Staff 04/19/2007 @ 7:06am

We had big fun over the weekend. Our son will be 30 years old next week and his girlfriend arranged a surprise party for him.

It required some fairly wide-ranging conspiracies to pull the whole thing off. Friends and family gathered from a couple states and from all directions of the compass.

She suckered him into a road trip, supposedly to attend a late Easter celebration with her family. He fully intended to make it a one-day trip so he could get together with some people on Sunday, but oddly enough, all his friends were busy doing a variety of things, so none of them had any time for him.

It was pretty interesting to watch an entire group of people totally united in their quest for deception -- and all without the advantage of natural talent or training. Geez, none of them had even run for public office, a job that seems to require all manner of charlatan training these days.

And it's no accident that some of them are women.

I think women are wily.

No, that's not an insult. It's just a recognition of a skill set that's been needed for thousands of years in order for women to get anything done.

I know I'm not the only man who thinks that way. You don't have to study much history to recognize all the ways that men have tried to control women over the centuries. From harems to veils to arranged marriages, from refusing to let them vote or handle money, from burning them as witches to placing them on pedestals so they're unable to get jobs or develop their opinions, you can see that beyond a doubt, men are scared of women.

And with good cause -- we're just out of our league when it comes to matching wits with women. If men didn't start out with the advantages of size, strength and testosterone (to make us aggressive and unreasonable), we wouldn't stand a chance.

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think women lie more than men. It's just my opinion that when women do lie, they're better at it then men. This weekend was a perfect example of my theory. My son's girlfriend, mother, sisters and several assorted female friends all conspired against him and he didn't have a clue. He came strolling into the lounge where he'd been led to believe they were meeting friends for a drink. The first thing that caught his eye was me, leaning on the bar.

It wasn't a sight he really expected. I think he had a moment of panic, thinking that perhaps I'd run away from home and had switched my recreational habit from an occasional beer and a movie to martinis and chatting up waitresses. He faltered for a moment, then took another couple steps and was swarmed under by his friends and relatives.

The look on his face was priceless -- surprise, pleasure and then after a while the dawning realization that he was way out of his league and will most likely never have a moment's unguarded relaxation the rest of his life.

And, that's what it's like to be a man.

Women are wily, but in a good way.

Copyright 2007 Brent Olson

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