Home / Talk / Views / Humor / Harvesting thanks

Harvesting thanks

Agriculture.com Staff 11/17/2009 @ 10:06am

It's hard to believe that Thanksgiving is here already.

Used to be Thanksgiving marked the official beginning of the Shop-Yourself-Silly Christmas Season. Not anymore. Retailers are constantly pushing to make Christmas arrive earlier and earlier; I wouldn't be surprised to someday see a placard proclaiming a "Fourth Of July Christmas Sale!"

Most of us have much to be thankful for. Personally, this includes the fact that, because of Facebook and its ilk, society has acquired a high tolerance for such grammatical sins as dangling prepositions and unnecessary apostrophes.

It's customary to finish fall harvest by Thanksgiving. This autumn's harvest has been grinding on and on, like a Chinese water torture comprised of trickling grain. Saying that harvest has been slow is like stating that Vikings fans tend to get a bit excited whenever they hear the words "Brett Favre."

Combines are running all night, their powerful headlights boring holes into the darkness as farmers burn the midnight oil. Actually, it's midnight diesel fuel.

Corn dryers are also working overtime, their lonesome moans echoing across the rural nightscape. Such sounds seem to carry farther in the crystalline chill of these long November nights.

We should also be thankful for corn. It helps feed us and provides a plethora of industrial products that range from Sheetrock to Cheetos. Not bad for a lowly Central American vagabond that migrated north in search of a better life.

The Pilgrims nearly starved to death during their first winter in the New World. Fortunately, a Native American named Squanto befriended them and showed them how to raise corn.

This knowledge enabled the Pilgrims to survive and thrive. The nascent colony was soon turning a tidy profit, which the Pilgrims promptly gambled away at the nearby Squantoland Casino.

Farm kids these days sure have it good regarding corn harvest. They get to operate these gargantuan combines which have heated cabs that are as cushy as a featherbed. "Roughing it" means being forced to drive a machine that lacks a dock for their iPod.

Back when I was a kid, corn was commonly harvested in ear form. And we were told that we sure had it good seeing as how we got to pick corn with a machine instead of by hand!

Corn harvest always seemed to grind on and on. This was because the picker took two rows at a time and went two miles per hour. Assume that we had to pick at least 100 acres, subtract a good chunk from each day for chores and breakdowns and...well, you do the math.

Hardly anyone picks ear corn anymore. As such, cribbing has become all but a lost art.

I am not referring to cribs made of steel or wood or concrete. Nor do I mean the kind of container typically used to confine a baby.

The style of crib I have in mind is made of wire and lath. It formed the core of our "poor man's" corn storage strategy.

The beauty of storing ear corn in this type of crib was that it could be placed almost anywhere. If winter was fast approaching and you needed to save time, you could crib corn on the headland of the field. This was similar to shouting "Look! A spaceship!" then moving the ball ten yards down the field as the opposing team gawked at the sky.

CancelPost Comment
MORE FROM AGRICULTURE.COM STAFF more +

Farm and ranch risk management resources By: 07/07/2010 @ 9:10am Government resources USDA Risk Management Agency Download free insurance program and…

Major types of crop insurance policies By: 07/07/2010 @ 9:10am Crop insurance for major field crops comes in two types: yield-based coverage that pays an…

Marketing 101 - Are options the right tool… By: 07/07/2010 @ 9:10am "If you are looking for a low risk way to protect yourself against prices moving either higher or…

MEDIA CENTERmore +
This container should display a .swf file. If not, you may need to upgrade your Flash player.
Cool Tools Christmas Edition: Part 2